Gotham Cable News

June 9, 2008

Home-Protection Business Soars as Fear Hits Gotham

The Desmond family of Gotham Heights spent over $20,000 on a high-tech protection service for their million-dollar home. And they're not alone.

As crime continues to rise throughout Gotham City, the home-security business is booming. "Crime's terrible for the city, but great for business," according to Theo Smytheson, one of the owners of Acme Security Systems.

"If this keeps up, I'll be able to retire by 45. And I'll know I helped protect our families," said Smytheson

So how can you help guard your home or apartment from Gotham's criminals? There are a variety of options, and not all of them are budget-busters.

Worried families can choose from fully customized systems that involve electronic "trip wires" and motion sensors to simpler, cheaper options.

Alarms that trigger when a lock is broken, with notifications instantly sent to both the police and a private security company, are especially popular.

"You don't have to be Bruce Wayne to protect your family," Katie Tyler of Acme told GCN. "Our entry-level system is based on a monthly fee of only $49.95...that's even cheaper than basic cable."

Some consumer activists in the city aren't so high on many of the security options, however. They claim they offer Gotham citizens nothing more than a false sense of peace of mind.

"These so-called security systems do little more than alert the police, and the security companies charge thousands of dollars for that," according to Nina Rona Touchstone, a reporter for The Gotham Consumer Advocate, a free publication found in many local supermarkets.

"In most burglary situations, the homeowner or resident could simply dial 9-1-1 in the same time it takes a system to do the same thing," said Touchstone. "These overpriced gadgets simply do not keep your families or possessions safe."

The Gotham Police Department also has qualms about home security systems. Some in the department say proliferating home alarms could end up making us all less safe.

Spokesman Randall Dandridge explained that "more often than not, these things trigger too easily and result in over 100 false alarms a month. That's time wasted that could have been spent doing real police work."

Despite such warnings, sales of home security systems have risen by a whopping 35% in the past three months in the city with no sign of a slowdown in sight. For many Gotham citizens, it's better safe than sorry.

Gotham Fashion Week a "Total Success"

Forget Paris or Milan. For high fashion, the new big name — is Gotham!

If you've been seeing the most beautiful women in the world walking around Gotham City lately, it's not your imagination.

For a few days, Gotham became the style capital of the world when the 14th Annual Gotham Fashion Week took over downtown. Fashion fanatics from all over the globe joined a coterie of Gotham's own design stars and thousands of fashion fans for a wacky and wild celebration of popular and couture design.

Spirits were high as the weeklong festivities kicked off at the famed and fabulous Seville Hotel. The charity gala ball was hosted by legendary Gotham clothing designer Anita Toulane.

And fashion may be frivolous, but this party wasn't — all the money raised went to a local charity which clothes Gotham homeless citizens.

The event drew the cream of Gotham society — from politicos such as Mayor Garcia to business tycoons like playboy Bruce Wayne. According to observers, Wayne paid less attention to the models on the runway than to the two models that accompanied him to the event.

The following day, Gotham resident and world-renowned fashion designer Oglethorpe stunned onlookers with a collection that "blends a 1920s retro chic with synthetic fabrics and a Communist Bloc space-race aesthetic."

And the party isn't over yet. Hundreds of models will strut their stuff on Gotham catwalks in 30 different fashion shows over the next few days. Critics are looking forward to cult favorites like Tokyo designer Takara Yokokawa and London designer Oslow Jones.

But the most crowded show is expected to be Gotham's own Morris Shulstein with his collection of children's clothes inspired by the works of C. J. Muttonchop.

So if you want to be on the cutting edge of fashion, get yourself to a runway show. And remember to dress fabulous — everyone else will.

Bruce Wayne Moves into "Mammoth" Penthouse Apartment

Where does the richest man in Gotham move when his house burns down? For Bruce Wayne, the answer was easy — find the priciest luxury tower in town and buy the entire top two floors.

With seven bedrooms, six baths, marble flown in from Italian rockyards, two ballrooms, and panoramic city views, Wayne's new residence represents the ultimate in city living.

Wayne Industries is using the apartment to test out radical new technologies for home use. It's a "digital home" where your every whim — from music to lighting to video and games — can be granted via fingertip access points.

Wayne gutted the interior and invested millions in a renovation. And today was the move-in date.

Curiosity seekers and photographers jostled for a view as Bruce Wayne moved his belongings — thinned out from the fire — into the penthouse suite at Gotham Century Towers.

But not everybody is bowled over by the tower's most high-profile resident.

Things got off to a bad start for one of Wayne's new neighbors, Clarissa Dolls. when she returned home after a spa treatment to find that Wayne's movers had limited access to all three of the building's elevators.

"This is against building regulations. Only one elevator is supposed to be used for moving in and out."

But her husband, Federico, was more worried about the potential noisy parties that might be thrown by the notorious hedonist.

"I don't like noise. He better be careful, because I have no trouble calling the police," said Alfonse. Other residents expressed concerns about the unwanted scrutiny that Wayne might bring to their posh surroundings.

Not all tenants are displeased by having a celebrity neighbor. "Bruce Wayne is the hottest thing around. Can you believe he's living here?" gushed 16-year-old Monica Ferrell. "Could he be any cuter?"