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Gotham Ballet Twinkles
The Gotham Ballet announced its fall/winter season yesterday. Highlights include a presentation of Brayden's modern classic, "The Steel Dungeon" and a re-envisioning of Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" set in an inner-city high school. In recent seasons, the ballet has welcomed a diverse array of talent to its stage to attract younger fans to an art form whose audience is rapidly aging. This season will feature the Moscow Ballet and the much-anticipated North American debut of prima ballerina Natascha Patrenko. Patrenko is highly regarded around the world as one of the most gifted practitioners of the art working today, and is equally talented in both classical and popular dance.
Gotham Zoo Head Arrested for "Poaching" Own Elephants
In a stunning turn of events, longtime Gotham Zoo head Margo Learner was handcuffed and arrested at the primate habitat of the popular city attraction in connection with a string of suspicious elephant deaths. Police sources say that Learner, facing gambling debts reaching over $200,000, offered her mob creditors ivory tusks to pay off portions of the debt. "This is a crime against all pachyderms," said Elephants Defense League founder Gilaed Braverman. "The EDL will push to ensure that this horrible monster of a human being dies in jail." Learner's scheme began to unravel when she targeted the beloved elephant Vishnu for death after killing Smokey and Sam.
Gotham a No-Goat Zone
Gotham City said goodbye to goats this past Friday, when the city council overturned a one-hundred-year-old law allowing residents to raise goats in their backyards. As recently as the 1940s, goats and chickens were common in Gotham neighborhoods, particularly those settled by immigrants who arrived during the great wave of the late 19th century. In modern times, only one family still kept a goat within city limits. "It was a Bestington family tradition," matriarch Tilda Bestington told The Times. "Our family was the first fabrics importer/exporter in Gotham. Plus, we like the cheese." In recent years, neighbors have started complaining about the constant bleating from the goat kept in the Bestington's uptown mansion. District Councilman Daniel Rutherford-Tyler responded to citizen complaints by sponsoring the new ordinance. "It's about time, don't you think?" he told The Times over the phone.
The Wegstaff Room Reborn
An anonymous businessman has acquired the space once home to legendary Gotham eatery The Wegstaff Room. Closed and unoccupied since 1986, it was a sumptuous dining room frequented by city power brokers. A spokesperson for the new venture says that "while we will have a new name, the level of style and class will not only meet, but exceed its famed predecessor." Under master Chef Ruskert Ogalvie, the menu will be both modern and traditional, and unlike the previous tenant, within reach of most Gotham citizens' budgets. The secrecy around the project has created a stir among gourmands, and the wait-list for a table is now up to three months.
